Looking back at 2023, I realize last year was life-changing for me in a couple of different ways. I had two transitions in particular that were the most noteworthy.
The first was finally leaping and starting a new career outside Human Resources. The other was me starting my coaching practice. Both of these transitions have been years in the making, but this year, I finally dared to make them happen. As the year is now behind us, I’d be remiss if I didn’t reflect on these pivotal experiences, my biggest learnings in the process, and where I am today — experiencing much more peace than I was a year ago.
The biggest lessons that I brought into this year are:
- Trust my gut
- Understand my values
- Make tough decisions
- Focus on relationships
- Prioritize my mental, physical and emotional well-being
#1 and #2 -Trust my gut and understand my values
Almost four years ago, while doing laundry, I almost audibly heard a voice say, “You won’t be doing this forever.” The voice wasn’t referring to the laundry but about me working in Human Resources. This was very confusing for me because, at that point, I had been building my HR career for about eight years, having spent two years in graduate school getting a master's in HR and taking on roles of increasing scope and responsibility. I set my sights on senior HR leadership running an HR department or an HR leader within an organization.
The timing was strange because the world was at the height of the pandemic. I was newly married and my wife was in a career transition. I was also in a role where I was being rewarded for doing good work. However, if I was honest with myself, I wasn’t fulfilled by my work. It had nothing to do with my organization, the groups I supported or the leaders I worked for. It had everything to do with a mismatch of values for where I was and still am in life.
Increasingly, I felt this pang to do work where I could serve others more tangibly. Not serve others by giving them positive HR experiences but by truly serving and helping people at pivotal times. At that time, I didn’t know if I could articulate it succinctly, but looking back now, I knew in my gut that my value systems were changing and there was something different that I wanted to be doing.
#3 Make tough decisions
Before making a move, I had a lot of decisions to make, including deciding on what organization I would be working for, in what location and most importantly, what I would be doing. The next couple of years were marked by me taking an HR role at an entirely different organization. I thought that maybe the change I needed was a company in a different industry, with a very different culture and pace of work. After transitioning to the new company, I quickly realized that I was avoiding the inevitable.
I spent the next two years working remotely for a company several time zones away. For some, that may sound like a dream. For this extrovert who longs to connect with and serve others, it was slowly killing my soul. My company was in a season of drastic change and many layoffs. I quickly found myself at an impasse: continue to work in an environment and field that wasn’t fulfilling but familiar, or step out into the unknown and explore something completely different. I knew that the latter was the right, albeit scary, option.
In April 2023, I decided to make the tough decision to walk away from HR and into a new career focused on career coaching. This was perfect because not only do I get to coach students, but I also interface with employers and I’ll get to teach classes. Every aspect of this role allows me to use my prior HR experience differently. This is full circle in many ways, but the teaching aspect allows me to do something I’ve always wanted, now in a more controlled, less risky environment. I get to engage with people in a way that brings me life and energy daily, serve others and build relationships with students, employer partners and colleagues.
#4 Focus on relationships:
One of my biggest decisions in the past 10 years is to focus on relationships. Not just the quantity of relationships that I maintain but the depth and quality of those relationships. At certain times, I go broad and pack my calendar with social activities. For me, it’s not about being busy to be busy, but I know that I have the best of times surrounded by loved ones, whether it be a weekend at the lake with friends, my bi-weekly men’s group or even date night with my wife, these activities engage and energize me.
Also, some of the most influential things in my life have been brought to me through my relationships. I met my wife through a mutual friend, I found out about my current house from a friend and most recently, I found my job through a friend of a friend. To be clear, I don’t look at my relationships as transactional. I view the good things from relationships as a byproduct, not the objective. But I also know that the richer my community is, the fuller my life is and I get to take advantage of cool opportunities.
#5 Prioritize well-being
In HR, specifically my last role — some things came naturally to me, like coaching leaders, collaborating on teams and being a change agent. Other aspects of the job, such as highly detail-oriented work, either required me to work in ways that weren’t natural for me or were downright draining. Over the last two years, this professional mismatch caused a lot of stress for me and the way this stress shows up in my life is through insomnia. I usually get enough sleep to function most days, but some days, I don’t doubt that my lack of sleep negatively affected my mood, performance at work and most harmfully, my physical health. I’m not saying having your dream job is a magic bullet to cure all your woes, but for me, fulfillment during the day helps me get great rest at night.
I had to find ways to bring more peace into my life intentionally. I found basic things like getting outside for two 30-minute walks a day immensely helpful in clearing my head. Other things like drinking enough water, eating a balanced diet, incorporating cardio into my schedule and calling a loved one to connect have become lifelines in keeping me sane and in maintaining generally good health.
As I look forward, I plan to continue to trust my gut. I will listen to my internal judge and heed what he says. I will not just understand my values, but I will make sure I prioritize the most important things to me. When my values are being compromised or my gut tells me to do something scary, I will make the tough call. I will continue to prioritize the depth and breadth of relationships. Lastly, I will prioritize my well-being by doing things that improve my overall health, help keep me sane, and give me life.
Calvin McDaniel is a Career Coach who has just launched his private practice. His coaching practice focuses on career exploration and life coaching. Calvin has expertise in career changes, resume writing, job search strategies, interview prep, job offer reviews and salary negotiations. In terms of life coaching, Calvin focuses on helping clients with big life decisions and transitions by goal setting and action-planning using a value-centered coaching process.
Calvin is a 2013 and 2009 graduate of Michigan State University with a Master’s in Human Resources & Labor Relations and a Bachelor’s in Business Management. He's spent 15 years working for several Fortune 500 companies across various industries, including manufacturing, financial services, tech, and real estate. Through his varied career, Calvin has developed expertise in career exploration and human resource development and has further honed those skills in his profession as a full-time coach.